Online content and social media sharing: whose story is it, really?
When we share our lives online, where do our stories end and our children’s begin? Monique Power explores the delicate ethics of parenting, posting, and consent.
When we step into the role of full-time parent carer, we don’t just walk in our children’s shoes, we often forget to take off our own. Advocacy, caregiving, and parenting blend into one lived experience, so closely intertwined with our child’s, that our stories become difficult to separate from theirs. Their footprints become inextricably blended with our own. In the digital age, that blurring can spill into our social feeds… and can stay there forever.
This article isn’t a lecture. It’s not about shaming parents for posting heartfelt stories or honest moments about life
with their children. I’m guilty myself of oversharing my daughter’s highs and lows in public forums. Many of us share from a place of love: to connect, to educate, to find solidarity in our communities. Our kids inspire others. They teach resilience. Their stories can break down stigma and build empathy. That matters.
But there’s also a line and it’s not always easy to see until it’s already been crossed.
Parents post for many reasons. Sometimes it’s to celebrate a small win. Other times, it’s to navigate grief, confusion, or isolation. There’s comfort in finding people who understand the unique challenges andjoys of parenting a child with disability. That kind of visibility can be powerful – especially when so many families still feel unseen.
But good intentions don’t always protect us, or our kids, from unintended harm. And online, harm can last a very long time.
Think about a moment you shared online that involved your child: maybe a meltdown, a difficult hospital stay, or a behavioural challenge that left you emotionally raw. These are real parts of your parenting journey, your footprint. But when shared publicly, especially with graphic details or identifiable images, they become part of your child’s digital footprint too. And that footprint doesn’t fade.
We don’t yet know the full psychological impact of growing up with a searchable history written by someone else. But we
do know this: children eventually become adults, and some grow up feeling exposed, even betrayed, by the content that once served someone else’s emotional needs.
Then there are children who may never fully understand the concept of digital permanence. They may require lifelong support and communication assistance. But that doesn’t mean their rights arediminished. On the contrary, it makes them even more vulnerable to having their identity shaped by others. In these cases, supported decision making becomes key. As carers, we must interpret consent by tuning into discomfort, watching for non-verbal cues, and asking: “If my child could fully grasp this, would they be okay with it? Am I acting in their best interest…or just mine?”
Instead of relying on “intuition” alone, which can be blurry at best, in the face of emotionally confronting episodes; consider this simple tool the next time you’re about to post something personal.
IT’S CALLED THE SHARE FRAMEWORK:
S ➜ Story: Whose story is this? Am I centring my own experience, or my child’s?
H ➜ Harm vs Help: Could this post unintentionally cause embarrassment, stigma, or emotional harm to my child later in life?
A ➜ Audience: Who will see this? And how might they use it?
R ➜ Rights: Have I honoured my child’s dignity and, where possible, their autonomy and control over their own story?
E ➜ Elsewhere: Would this be better shared somewhere else? For example, in a private group, a journal, or a one-on-one conversation? Should that sharing take place online, or in person? And should it be written or spoken?
I want to reiterate, the goal here isn’t to stop sharing. Sharing is a hugely important part of empowering our community and making our voices heard. My point is, as parents, we need to be aware of whose shoes we’re wearing when we share – whose footprints we are leaving. We need to walk and share with care – in ways thatdon’t reduce our children to clickbait or cautionary tales.
IF YOU WANT TO SHARE AND STILL HONOUR YOUR CHILD’S DIGNITY? TRY:
- Using age-appropriate or symbolic language
- Avoiding graphic medical imagery
- Blurring identifying features in photos
- Asking your child for input, if possible
- Posting in private or closed communities
- Describing challenges in ways that focus on your feelings, not their vulnerabilities
And stay aware: scams exist. Predatory GoFundMe campaigns have been caught using real children’s images and storieswithout consent, all taken from well- meaning social posts.
As parent carers, we often hold the keys to our children’s stories. But holding them doesn’t mean owning them. Sometimes, the most loving thing we can do is pause before we post… and remember that being a storykeeper comes with responsibility.
It’s okay to want connection. It’s okay to feel proud. It’s okay to want to be seen. But our children’s dignity should never be the price of our visibility.
By Monique Power.
RippleAbility is a paediatric specific disability provider, helping families navigate complex systems of support and build their capacity to advocate for appropriate supports and services for their child. rippleability.org Email: [email protected]
