Dear mama: passing on the baton of special needs parenting

By Natalie Roberts-Mazzeo

Dear Mama

I’m going to pass you a baton, it’s a well worn one that has been passed down through many women over time.

It’s not the kind of baton you dreamed of when you rubbed your pregnant belly full of love, in fact, it’s one that you have definitely heard of, but prayed you would never be the one to carry.

When you first receive this baton, you will most likely want to run from it. But due to the nature and needs of this baton, it will infiltrate every aspect of your life.

In the beginning it will consume your thoughts though day and night, it will rock your world and break your heart. It will hurt and I am sorry you will feel such pain. This baton does not come with any instructions on how you are to continue to run with it, and in the beginning it will feel so overwhelming unfair. But as you continue to move forward with this baton, you will be so surprised at how familiar it starts to feel.

You will close your eyes at night, knowing that there have been so many other women who have been where you are right now. You will start to rest in the awareness that you are not alone at all. In fact, you will start to see a tribe of other women holding similar batons and they will help to carry your baton during the times it feels too heavy.

This baton brings so many amazing blessings that are beyond your wildest dreams and expectations. It just needs to unfold in its own way and in its own time. It will perplex you that this baton has been handed onto you via your greatest creation, your child. It will confuse you, it will test your faith, your patience and your ability to keep showing up.

This baton comes in the form of your child’s diagnosis and subsequently the transformation into a new type of mother, a mama of a child with a disability.

This baton will change you. As hard as it will be to carry it at times, it will help you all live to your full potential.

So as I hand this baton over to you mama, please take it on faith that in your own time you will carry this baton so proudly. You will even go as far to say I am so grateful that I was chosen to carry this unique and special baton.

Believe me when I tell you this baton is a blessing. And when you pass it onto another woman in the future, let it remind you what you are made of; a resilient, strong and loving warrior woman who was once handed a baton that changed their life for the better.

With love, respect and deep admiration, from a mama who knows what it feels like to carry this baton through all the ups and downs of this new special needs life.