Competition over development and milestones? There is none

By Bianca Klingner-Walsh

Competition. Where does the constant need for competition come from when we are talking about our kids, or even our parenting?

It’s something I see on the daily, and quite frankly, I’m calling it out. Mums need to support mums, dads need to support dads, and mums and dads need to support each other. We are ALL on this crazy journey called parenthood, and not one of us really know what we’re supposed to be doing.

We just do it. Whether you have one child or seven children, each child is an individual being and each journey is different.

Which leads me to my next question. Why can’t we praise each other when we talk about our child’s achievements? Why do we compare our kids when their genetic makeup is NOTHING alike? It makes no sense to me. I tell you what; the next time a friend, partner, or parent confides in you about their child’s achievement – praise them, hug them, be proud for them. Because the last thing they want to hear is, “Oh yes, Billy has been doing that for months!”

Well thanks for the stab!

It’s like saying “Ok, your child’s good but mine’s great.” I have never noticed this more than now that I have my own child.

One with his own additional challenges.

I know he will learn the things your child already does even though they may be six, or even 12 months younger than him. But he will do it in his own time, and he will do it triumphantly.

And I will be the proudest mother for each and every tiny milestone he reaches, because these little people of ours want for nothing but love and praise, and I will give that to him. But I would be lying if I said It doesn’t hurt when there’s this need for people to constantly “out do” you.

It’s tough seeing your child struggle and do ten times the work of others to reach a goal and I’d be lying if I said I dont care when he achieves these milestones, because I do care. All we want is for our children to succeed and be the best they can be, and I am working myself into the ground trying to make that happen for my child. What I need, what we all need, is people supporting us, acknowledging that yes maybe your child achieved something before mine, but now is not the time to rub that in, now is the time to say, “this stuff is hard on the best of days and you’re doing a fantastic job!”

It doesn’t matter how you parent, in the end we are all parents doing the best we can for our kids. And in the end all these precious humans will shine when it’s their time.

I’m Bianca and I’m a 24 year old first time mum to a little boy named Oliver who happens to have Down syndrome. Since Oliver’s diagnosis when I was pregnant, I have been riding the roller coaster of life with a child with additional needs. Oliver is the light of my life and I’m so grateful to be his mum. You can follow our journey on Instagram or read more on my blog – Oliver and Bee – Living Life With An Extra-Ordinary Chromosome