The two-hour workshop helping mothers of autistic children find small moments of calm

New research suggests that learning to be kinder to yourself – even in tiny ways – can make a real difference to mental health

It’s not the kind of Mother’s Day gift that comes wrapped. But for mothers of autistic children, a short online workshop teaching self-compassion techniques has proven surprisingly powerful – reducing depressive symptoms and improving wellbeing within just two weeks.

The research, from the Aspect Research Centre for Autism Practice, tracked 45 parents who took part in a two-hour workshop focused on simple, practical strategies that can be used in everyday moments. Not meditation retreats or hour-long practices, but small shifts that fit into the life you’re already living.

Things like slowing your breathing when the morning routine falls apart. Shifting your internal voice when your child struggles. Finding small pockets of calm while making a cup of tea or waiting in the car.

The results suggest that even brief interventions can make a meaningful difference for parents carrying a significant mental and emotional load.

“A kinder inner voice can change everyday moments at home”

Lead researcher Dr Ru Ying Cai said the findings highlight how important it is to support parents, not just children, in autism care.

“Parents of autistic children often give so much of themselves that their own wellbeing slips to the bottom of the list,” Dr Cai said.

“What we found is that even a short, accessible workshop can help parents develop a kinder inner voice. That doesn’t just support their mental health, it can change the tone of everyday moments at home.”

Working with compassion researcher Associate Professor James Kirby from the University of Queensland, the team developed the workshop around techniques that can be used in real time: slowing breathing during stressful moments, practising self-reassurance rather than self-criticism, and identifying what they call “micro-moments” of calm throughout the day.

Parents who completed the workshop reported improved wellbeing, reduced depressive symptoms, and greater self-reassurance. Many described the experience as “ground-breaking,” particularly when they recognised patterns of harsh self-criticism they hadn’t fully noticed before.

Supporting parents is supporting children

Mothers are often the primary carers for autistic children, and research consistently shows they experience higher rates of stress, anxiety and depression than the general population.

Aspect CEO Jacqui Borland said the research underscores that supporting families is central to supporting autistic children.

“We know that many parents are doing everything they can to support their child, often at the expense of their own wellbeing,” Ms Borland said.

“Helping parents build self-compassion isn’t about asking them to do more, but giving them permission to be kinder to themselves in moments that are already hard.”

This Mother’s Day, Aspect is encouraging parents to extend the same understanding and care to themselves that they show their children every day. Even small shifts – pausing, softening self-talk, taking a moment to reset – can make a difference over time.

Parents and carers can access practical strategies and learn more about the research at aspect.org.au/parent-self-compassion