21 years in the Target toy aisle

By Jo Ashline

We think that this beautiful piece of poetry is especially relevant as we start the annual search for Christmas gifts for our kids.

I am not paralysed
by sadness anymore

as I roam the toy aisle

at Target

I want you to know
it gets better
(and then it gets a little worse,

but then it gets better again.
and that’s just before breakfast.
You get the idea).

On the eve of his 21st birthday I am not buying my firstborn
a six pack
or promising

to pick him up
from a bar
with his bleary-eyed friends

I am here
instead
in this toy aisle I know so well
my eyes scanning rows
of Lightning McQueens
and Maters
until I spot a flash of bright yellow And yelp with joy
as I unearth
Andrew’s beloved
Cars character

Cruz Ramirez
will join the others
an impressive collection
of Disney Pixar’s finest
nestled among
Thomas and all his Friends enough R2D2s
to make George Lucas jealous and dot markers in all the colours (trust me, all of them)

I am happy
standing here
in the toy aisle at Target for the 21st year in a row as I imagine his giant grin lighting up his face

his hands
fluttering
towards space unwrapping gifts that are perfectly him that I will buy

again
(and again)

and he doesn’t know
it’s his birthday tomorrow and it’s ok
he doesn’t have to
I do

I know it enough for the both of us

here in the toy aisle at Target